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Bob Bogan
Bob Bogan is the Brother of Bulk Bogan, thus uncle to Brulk Rogan. He was separated from Bulk and an early age. Life Story Bob & Bulk were born as twins but Bob was kidnapped by Squadala Man and brought to the Squadala Empire. The reason Squadala Man kidnapped Bob was because after Link died (Squadala Man didn’t know he could respawn) they needed a new hero of koradai. Thus Bob, who much like everyone else in his family, was born middle aged, was chosen. Squadala Man trained up Bob for 69 years before finally bringing him to Hyrule. Bob, being a Bogan and what not, immediately forgot everything Squadala man told him, and just started dicking around. He went to the shop for some food and decided he was in need of a weapon. He bought a bunch of swords, taped the together, and then shat on them. His reasoning was he could stap people multiple times with one blow, and if they didn’t die they'd get sick from his feces. Bob immediately went around West Hyrule stabbing people with his shit sword. This caught the attention of the citizens of Hyrule, who got their revenge and brutally attacked him. They were either gonna kill him or throw him into Jail, but they all soon ran away as Ganon came to investigate whatever the hell just happened. He saw Bob lying there beaten up on the floor, looking terrified on top of all these dead bodies. It made him furious. There's no way in hell that someone who's trained in the same military and has the same weapons and equipment with Ganon would have done such as horrible job at his... job. Ganon took it into his own hands, he'd turn Bob into a force of true evil. He summoned demon and got it to possess Bob. The demon ended up killing Bob and then forced Bob (now in hell, since he’s dead and did bad things) to become as the leader of his demon army for 999,999 years. Ganon told people how his new “friend” Bob would soon come into his power, why he had to be the leader of their army. "I will say that in the future, my friend Bob will never become a king, because the King is truly the King, and will have enough power over everything, I have said so many times." While dicking around in hell, while everyone thought he was ruling an army, he came across a dead guy named Phil Nye. The other dead guys who got up just at this point weren't all that friendly to him. They knew he was in on his plan of being the big boss and killing their families and friends and he didn't really care about that sort of shit. The thing about these dead bodies as he approached them was that they'd had some sort of injury. When he saw that the guy's leg had burned from a gunshot he assumed Phil Nye had been in some kind of battle. He knew from talking with him, Phil was a pretty decent dude, but he didn't think it was safe to get close enough. Accourding to Bob, the following conversation went like this: Bob said: "Do you think there is anything about them that's going to make them change their minds?" "What do you mean?" Phil asked. "We're fine like this." "It’s your own fault you’re here, right? Come on!" Bob responded, saying: “No… No one should be like this... I did a bad thing once, and I get sent here not because of that, but because people are trying to militarize me” Phil was incredibly confused by this point. He asked Bob what he meant and Bob said: “No, I think I'm being sent here because I'm a bad guy.‭ ‪No …‬‬ ‪There's no reason to send me here; there's no reason for me to live on this island.‭ ‬And for me to live in the same place, I need to leave..." As if Bob hadn't given a damn enough about the demon crap already when he made so much of the fact that he was on the chopping block, this further angered Phil for god knows why. Phil continued, saying: “No!‭ ‪No, he's not making it any worse than it is!‭ ‪He's telling us this for the sake of our actions!‭ ‪Now don't you worry being sent down here. Hell's under control! Right?” Bob finally convinced Phil to help him look for a way out, and they did that by descending the layers of hell looking for a fire exit. They started this long journey by cursing each other because they could not see through the air to get further down. After a long time, the pair finally arrived to the bottom, underneath the 11.5th circle. Phil had a broken shoulder from having to climb down and Bob had his leg broken, but when he climbed up he got some kind of an injury and had to retire. Turns out, anything bellow circle 11.5 is just the Omniversal Void, so Bob decided to leave Phil behind for a minute as he drifted down into the void. He wished to plead with the almighty NaN for his release from hell. As you can guess, she didn’t have time for his shit and purged him from the UnMultiverse, leaving Phil behind with a broken arm in the bottom most layer of hell for eternity. Bob soon found him self in the omniversal zone of complex, imaginary-numbered and quaternion universes. this is a group of universes outside of the UnMultiverse (and in the UnOmniverse) that have imaginary numbers, and can only be accessed from non-imaginary 'verses by using one of the 2 types of imaginary plotholes: 4-dimensional plotholes, which are VERY unstable and often collapse and/or explode, or 10-dimensional plotholes, which are very unlikely to collapse or explode, but are also very hard to get rid of. Bob, now in this weird place, did what he’s best at doing, dicking around. He went straight to the edge of infinity, from where he was told he was no longer a part of the UnMultiverse, where he should be the centre of everything. In this place he discovered that he was immortal. Turns out, by purging him from the UnMultiverse, NaN had actually made him more powerful then he ever was before, due to the fact he was no longer restricted by the laws of physics. Bob, now with the power of several gods, went and returned to the UnUniverse, where NaN's dimensional barrier no longer had any affect, (not that NaN couldn’t handle him herself) and he was no longer trapped within it by his own power alone. NaN, realizing her mistake, then called up all several other gods, sent a message telling them what he planned to do, and created a new universe which they'd use to battle Bob, and stop his nefarious antics. This universe was τελική φιλονικία, which to this day is still used for god level dueling. Against him, was every god and demi-god. They waged war for centuries, as all universe fell into chaos due to the lack of gods. Every hit and punch and kick was with the force of 2 hyperverses colliding. Bob wasn’t the strongest, but it’s clear he couldn’t go down easily. He soon, taking inspiration from his brother (not really since he doesn’t even know him) being the hero of kvatch and all, screamed “Fus Ro Dah” and blew every living thing out of τελική φιλονικία. All though it’s clear the gods have the capability of killing Bob, it’s quite clear that it’s an incredibly troubling hassle and is probably too much to deal with. Bob resides in τελική φιλονικία and will take on anyone who wishes to fight him. He allows gods to fight there, not like he has a choice. Trivia * Bob Bogan has been an officer in the Royal Australian Army since 1987. * Bob Bogan has actually never lived in UnAmerica. * Bob Bogan did a TV talk show called "The Talk". * Bob Bogan's biggest goal in life is to create a beer that people will want to drink, or eat. Category:Guys Named Bob Category:Overpowered Guys Category:Gods Category:Bogan Family Category:Overlong pages